By Beaker
Ever look at a statistic of a particular athlete and wonder to yourself, “Gosh, what a nagging statistic!” Though I use a different four letter word than “Gosh”.
What are some stats that nag you as a sports fan? In compiling this lame list I did not ponder any strict criteria so get off my back about not being excessively thorough. However, do enjoy.
The one contemporary hockey stat that jumps out at me comes by way of Marek Svatos of the Colorado Avalanche. So far this season he has 20 goals and 2 assists. If he keeps up on this arithmetic progression he’ll end up matching Montreal Canadiens retro star Joe Malone who won the NHL scoring title with 44 goals and 4 assists – in 1918.
Today 44 goals may win you the Rocket Richard title but 4 assists makes you somewhat of an inept hog.
Some hockey players and coaches career totals also leave you pounding the table shouting, “god dang it, why?” Here are some of my favorites. For good measure I added a couple from the NBA and MLB.
Glenn Anderson: 498 goals; 1099 points. Man, I can barely type this without suggesting he should make a comeback for one lousy game to try and score 2 fricken goals. How does he sleep at night?
Ron Francis: 1798 points. You play 23 seasons to come up two points shy of joining an
elite group of players who hit 1800 points? Wayne Gretzky (duh), Mark Messier and Gordie Howe are the only players to achieve this feat. Definite nag.
Jari Kurri: 797 assists; 1398 points. Not quite as exclusive as the 1800 club but still only 17 players hit the mark. Not Kurri. Go back to Finlandia you bum.
Wayne Gretzky: 894 goals. Six plus 894 = nag. Do the math.
Mark Messier: In case you failed the above math teaser you get a second shot with Messier. 694 goals plus six still equals nag.
Paul Coffey: 396 goals. Four more and he’s only the second defenseman behind Raymond Bourque to score 400.
Not quite the “nag” category but I decided to pro rate Mario Lemieux’s stats. Nagged throughout his career by injuries, Lemieux managed 1701 points in 889 games in 17 seasons. That’s a 1.913 points per game ratio – good for second best in NHL history behind Gretzky’s (duh) 1.921. Let’s assume Lemieux’s ppg dropped to 1.50 for five more seasons. That equals 615 points or 2316 all time. If he kept a 1.913 clip he hits 2485 points.
People who suggest Lemieux could have broken Gretzky’s 2857 points if not for injuries and the garage league the NHL had become while he played are not insane.
Bill Reay: I was perusing the all time coaching wins list and came across this gem. Reay won 599 games while coaching for the Toronto Maple Leafs in the 1950s and Chicago Blackhawks in the 1960s and 70s. One Word: nag.
Why stop at hockey? Check these out:
In the NBA, Bill Fitch won 999 games with five teams. Not many coaches won 1000. At least he won a title with the Boston Celtics in 1981. That’s one more than Bill Reay.
Bobby Matthews: Okay, this is stretching back to the late 19th century but it still counts. Largely a mysterious figure, Matthews won 297 games in the National League, American and National Association.
Tony Gwynn hit .394 in 1994. What he couldn’t get on base roughly three more times?
There you have it. I’m sure there are many more but I do have a life. Off to fold some bath towels.
