By Beaker
Lately, a new kind of star athlete behaviour has entered the world of sports: the indecisive one. Hm. Orange juice or grapefruit juice? Hm.
You know the routine, the smart ones plan their sabbatical during the season with the “I’m not sure if I’ll return” routine. Others go for operatic effect. They call a press conference, break down and cry while wiping tears away thus dramatically enhancing the press conference visuals.
There, there. Eezgonnabeawright.
Then, as fast as you can say FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION they’re back with arms stretched and raised as if nothing happened and ready to work.
Assistant coach: “Um, what’s he doing here?”
Coach looks over copy book: “I dunno. I thought…”
Assistant coach: “But we already replaced him!”
Coach: “I know, dang it! I know!”
Player: “I’m Bat-Man.”
They remind me of a child seeing the ocean for the first time. When the water recedes they follow it and when the tide comes back in they runaway scared. They’re unsure of what to do or how to rationalize it.
I don’t know if Mats ‘Skeletor’ Sundin has ever been to the beach. I suspect he has. Then again, he never seems to look tanned or healthy. However, I do envision him pounding his fist on a table next to a dish of reindeer meat screaming, “But I want to play ball hockey!”
He’s not the only one to be confused. Recall Scott Niedermayer put the Anaheim Ducks through the ringer last season as he went off into the forest seeking salvation. You can’t tell me that didn’t have an effect on the team. That team played like it missed him. And now we have the ready for TV saga of Brett Favre.
At what point do teams draw the line and say, “Hey, you’re an awesome player and our wives get along great but cripes you’re acting like a flake and we need to know now. People are dying for a shot at the bigs.” Indeed, how much patience does it buy an athlete if they’re a legend like Niedermayer or Favre? Lots? Little? Lots, little? Lots, lots?
In the case of Skeldin the guy is enshrouded in Scandinavian mystery. No one knows for sure what he’s thinking. Quite frankly, if you don’t know the guy it’s all speculation. Maybe he’s truly confused. Maybe he wants to fix the welfare state in Sweden and he’s not telling. Who knows?
This aside and whatever his reasons are, it’s quite possible we’ll see more and more of this sort of stuff moving forward.
Geez, I hope the indecisive attributes exhibited by The Hesitant Three (Skeldin, Niedermayer and Favre) don’t spill into the domestic domain. That would make them Tom Brady.
Nevertheless, many people would love to have his problem.
