Satire: LeBron and the Magic Yankees Cap

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

From the Desk of Maverick Carter, Agent to LeBron JamesSubject: The Yankees Cap

LeBron James apologizes to the cities of Cleveland and New York City for supporting the Yankees in the 2007 playoffs and then backing his friends and his community by cheering for the Indians after they eliminated the Yankees in convincing fashion.

As noted by the éminence grise of Turner Sports, Craig Sager, Mr. James expressed devotion in the most successful teams of his prepubescence. Mr. Sager referred to Mr. James as a “front-runner,” which was of course true when he was 7. He has stuck to those teams since, rooting for the local franchises only out of an esprit de corps with those around him.

Mr. James now understands his role as a sports fan much better. He understands he cannot have divided loyalties or express opinions that are mildly controversial.

He pledges to rend his garments in desperation when the Yankees lose. He will call for the ouster of one or more participants in the Yankees season as a sacrifice upon the altar of public outrage and then caress the blood into his skin. He shall keep no counsel besides that of Jim from Akron, calling Richie and the Raunchster at WHAT in Cleveland.

He shall also cease to enjoy any sporting event except through the prism of his beloved Yankees. All other teams’ home parks shall be visited by Mr. James during the 2007-2008 NBA season, whereupon he shall urinate on the wall of the park and then walk around the outside of the premises, shouting, “Who dat, Babe Ruth! Who dat!”

Any mention of another ballplayer that does not serve the Yankees shall be followed by a series of expletives and spitting upon the ground, even if he should be friends with said athlete or share the same agent. A direct confrontation with a non-Yankee player shall cause Mr. James to invite said player to orally pleasure himself immediately.

Finally, once the searing pain of the Yankees’ defeat in 2008 is assured, he promises to put a revolver in his mouth and splatter his brains against the wall in a convincing rendition of Suzyn Waldman’s breakdown. Clearly, this will be the only way to prove his lack of sophistication and make him more like the “fan’s fan.” He hopes you can find it in your hearts to forgive him.

P.S. The Sudan can piss up a rope.


Filed Under: Parole Humour Tagged With: , , ,

Who the hell does Afonso Alves think he is?

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Martin

A little more than a year ago no one, except maybe a handful of Swedish fans, knew who Afonso Alves was. Since then his status has risen atmospherically, catapulting the Brazilian striker into the national team of Brazil and making him a wanted target for several of Europe’s bigger clubs.

Suddenly Alves seems to think that he has the right to bully his employer, who have taken a chance on him. Suddenly, a contract that the Brazilian was more than happy to sign one year ago is an insult. Petty insults left and right, by people who clearly seem to have a vested interest in Alves finding his fortune.

Apparently paying people who call themselves journalists have also taken it upon themselves to call the club of Heerenveen “slavedrivers” and “people who wouldn’t even lead a club in the Brazilian Serie Z”. But the question is, what can you blame the directors of Heerenveen for? They preferred to keep their star striker, but then if he had to be sold they wanted good money. I don’t see any wrong in that.

The conduct of Alves sickens me. Who the hell does he think he is? After scoring 34 leaguegoals in one season and joining the Brazilian national team, a seemingly nice person and good professional turns into the son of god? Suddenly the players that fought with and for him, who helped him scoring goals are nobodies?

I believe that clubs who see this attitude should scratch their heads and wonder: do we really want a player with such an attitude in our team? Imagine Alves going to a team like Middlesbrough, scoring 30 goals and receiving an offer from Chelsea. Suddenly players like Stewart Downing and George Boateng are nobodies and the club of Middlesbrough would be slavedrivers. So that leaves me with the same question that keeps popping into my head: who the hell does Afonso Alves think he is?


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Discover Your Future at the Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Tufy

Have you imagined yourself in a school where skullduggery and deception is nourished and stimulated? Where all your whining can be referred to as “billable hours”? The Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, recognizes your passion to lift your profile and succeed, hopefully at the expense of your teammates and coaches.At the Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law, we provide law degrees* in Clubhouse Law with a variety of concentrations, from Sowing Discontent to Convicting Your Teammate in the Court of Public Opinion. We also provide extension courses in a variety of topics for beer league clubhouse paralegals.

“Come to the Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law and learn all the tricks that got me six major league ball caps in the last eight seasons of my career!” – El Presidente Orlando Cepeda (the Baby Bull himself)

The campus, located on the expansive Alou family compound (legends in the clubhouse litigation business), offers state-of-the-art clubhouse simulators with real former beat writers and ex-managers to practice new skills and test theories on. Also, the scenic views and cheap bars allow you to practice your post-game exploits as well.

“I became beloved in the whole major leagues with the redeeming social qualities of a cockroach in the middle of the breeding process, all thanks to the Alous!” – Omar Vizquel

Our unique method of portfolio assessment puts in you a small group setting and forces you to convince the reporters and teammates that you are the misunderstood genius of the locker room because you like to read books without pictures and just need a fair shake. If you sell your point of view to the assembled while knifing everyone else in the back, you pass!

“It’s not just a name; it’s a way of life. Thanks, Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law!” – Lawyer Milloy

Courses include:

  • How to Tell the Beat Writer About Your Opinion and Make Him Think He Teased It Out of You
  • How to Form an Opinion (remedial)
  • Using the Internet to Extend Your Clientele (with Professor Curt Schilling)
  • How to Avoid the Promotion to Clubhouse Cancer
  • Make Your Teammates Pick Sides for Senseless Reasons
  • The Boom Box: A Deconstruction (with Professor Kerry Wood)
  • Your First Deal: How to Negotiate Your Trade Right From Your Locker!
  • Clubhouse Ethics and How to Avoid Them
  • How to Woo the Boss (team taught by Professors Jim Leyritz and Rick Cerone)
  • Make Your Influence Larger Than Your Talent
  • Woe Is Me: Trapped in the Losing Closet (Professor Carl Pickens’ tour de force)
  • Coach’s Plan Made Me Look Bad, Not My Exquisite Hackery
  • Race: The Only Card in Town! (with Professor Gary Sheffield)
  • How to Turn Your Clubhouse Lawyer Pedigree into a Political Career (an honors course taught by Mayor Craig Biggio)

With a kitchen run by Master Chef (and 1990 graduate) David Wells and transportation provided by the Jeff Kent (1992 graduate) Agency, you will live in luxury’s velvety lap and get an advanced degree. Sign up now!

“With the Baby Bull College of Offshore Clubhouse Law, you can get into the Baseball Hall of Fame and the Clubhouse Lawyers Hall of Fame! I would have got there sooner, but Ozzie was holding me back…” – Frank Thomas

(Note: no financial aid available. Payment due before graduation; policy enforced by 1999 graduate Michael Barrett.)

*Law degrees only valid in Dominican Republic, Venezuela, and New York City tabloids.


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First They Drafted…

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Geeves

When the jackass fantasy owner drafted first and acted as if the pick was his God-given right and guaranteed his success,

I remained silent;

I was drafting seventh anyway. When he offered a flurry of lopsided trades to the league and acted indignant when no one would trade with him in “this lameass dead league”,

I remained silent;

I was not fooled.

When he finally found a sucker to trade with,

I did not speak out;

I was winning anyway.

When the jackass fantasy owner started churning through the waiver wire like a steamboat traipsing down the Mississippi and making it impossible for anyone to pick up a player worth a damn without ruining their waiver ranking, I remained silent;

I didn’t have any injuries yet.

When he threw a hissy fit worthy of a spastic seven year old that just downed a 10-pack of Pixy Stix with a chaser of a case of Red Bull when someone else tries to trade with his week’s opponent that might marginally improve the opponent, I did not speak out; I was busy preparing to get my ass kicked by the other guy in the trade.

When he taunted the league relentlessly about his superiority in fantasy football and equated it with his superiority wooing and mating with the opposite sex and suggested perhaps his competitors were less adept with the opposite sex, perhaps due to their latent desire to mate with the same sex in a very painful and perhaps impossible manner, I remained silent; I knew his sexual experience was based mostly on the pity of a generous aunt.

When he crushed me in the head-to-head playoffs using the pilfered players, the canceled trades, and the trail of waived bodies,

There was no one left to speak out.

When he tried to buddy up with me after the season with a slap on the back and a “aw, c’mon, you’re not gonna hold that against me, are ya, bro?”,

I made sure they wouldn’t find the body.


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Matt Holliday’s Face Pain Brings Pleasure To Colorado

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Matt Sussman

The Lineup Card

1. LF Matt Holliday
2. SS Jimmy Rollins
3. SG Gilbert Arenas
4. QB Joey Harrington
5. PK Wes Byrum
6. LW Dean McAmmond
7. #16 Greg Biffle
8. FS Artis Chambers
9. SP Tom Glavine
Manager: Willie Randolph

1. LF Matt Holliday — Technically it was a “tiebreaker” game, and part of the regular season, and the expanded roster is still in play. Um, bullshit. Call it the “National League Wild Card semifinal.” They earned the right to play an extra game, and it’s played in October, broadcast on TBS, and they don’t drag Cal Ripken from the sofa into the studio to talk about a regular season game, now do they?

In the NLWCS — yes, that’s a good, solid acronym for the occasion — the Rockies’ MVP candidate was in the middle of a 13th inning comeback against the San Diego Padres. Down two in the 13th, Troy Tulowitzki doubled in Kaz Matsui. Holliday tripled in Tulowitzki to tie the game 8-8, and Jamey Carroll hit a sac fly that scored Holliday … well, maybe. The history books will mark down Holliday as scoring, and the cheering and ceremonial hats will dictate Holliday’s run as capping off the win for Colorado in the NLWCS.

But replays showed that Padres catcher Michael Barrett appeared to have Holliday’s hand from touching home plate. Umpire Tim McClellan — one of the finest balls-and-strikes men in the game — delayed his call of “safe” a few seconds, which one doesn’t normally see.

Oh, and Holliday injured himself on the slide. So the Padres can take solace in the fact that, while Holliday may not have scored, his face really, really hurts. But he’s okay — after about 10 minutes of being tended to in the clubhouse, he leaped back onto the field and joined in the super happy celebration.

(By the way, I can’t say this is totally relevant, but the Rockies black home jerseys with white shoulder trim sure did resemble the umpires’ uniforms.)

2. SS Jimmy Rollins — So you want the National League to have an MVP award, but you’re too ashamed to vote for the Coors Field-inflated numbers of Matt Holliday? How about the Philadelphia Philles shortstop, whose lineup begins and ends with his production.

Like Curtis Granderson, he has 20 doubles, 20 triples, 20 home runs, and 20 stolen bases — the fourth player in major league history to do so. Unlike Curtis Granderson, Rollins has a T-shirt that says DIVISION CHAMPIONS.

3. SG Gilbert Arenas — We haven’t even begun the NBA preseason and we’re already talking about the cerebral heart and soul of the Washington Wizards. Agent Zero has grown weary of the summer lull and decided to launch an Internet cartoon.

No episodes are live on the site, because Arenas doens’t think it’s as good as Family Guy yet. Well then, try using more flashbacks and repeat the same jokes. Then have the lead character get into a 3-minute fight with a guy in a chicken costume.

4. QB Joey Harrington — You know what? Good for him. I can’t think of a more awkward situation to be thrown into as a quarterback. He was asked to lead a football team because the team’s original star quarterback enjoyed electrocuting dogs who lacked superior killing skills. Picture Mr. Burns’ company softball team missing its All-Star players. Now picture Bobby Petrino tell Harrington, “I want you to remember some inspiring words that someone else might have told you over the course of your lives, and go out there and win!”

You almost want to will a Kurt Warner-like MVP season out of him, but you know what he’s done in the past — acceptable football that has yielded more losses than wins.

On Sunday, Harrington had an amazing game (23-for-29, 223 yards, 2 touchdowns) against the surprising Houston Texans, featuring last year’s backup Falcons QB, Matt Schaub. His numbers resulted in a 26-16 win for the Falcons, the first of the year.

5. PK Wes Byrum — This may be an illegal call-to-arms, but could one of my readers drive down to Auburn, Alabama, sneak into Byrum’s dorm room, and check to see if his testicles are in fact made of brass?

With mere seconds left on the clock, Byrum was thrown into a situation where a 43-yard field goal would have broken the 17-17 tie and given his Auburn Tigers the victory. A miss would have likely given the momentum to the No. 4 Florida Gators in overtime. And he Byrum kicked the damn field goal twice.

The first time was nullified because UF coach Urban Meyer called timeout immediately before the snap on that field goal attempt, in hopes of rattling the freshman kicker. I think Auburn nation would have forgiven the young lad for shanking his second try, because it’s a huge moment in a big game. But he did sink the field goal, meaning the football powerhouse known as Florida has fallen to Auburn in consecutive years. How’s that for braggin’ rights?

6. LW Dean McAmmond — Here’s your quote of the week, courtesy of the Ottawa Senators center after taking a shot in an exhibition game last week that knocked him out: “Everyone is saying I have concussion problems. I don’t have concussion problems. I’ve got a problem with someone giving me traumatic blows to the head. That’s what I have a problem with.”

And to think, there are people out there without head injuries that have never reached this level of poignancy.

7. #16 Greg Biffle — Normally when a racer “coasts” to victory, it means he wins by a large margin. On Sunday, Biffle literally coasted to victory. He was running out of gas, and his fuel pick-up system wasn’t working properly. Even though he was the fourth person to cross the finish line as the race was red-flagged (local favorite Clint Bowyer was first), the field was frozen prior to that, and with darkness cast upon Kansas Speedway, Biffle was eventually called the winner.

Sorry I couldn’t explain it better, but, well, I don’t think anybody can.

8. FS Artis Chambers — Aw, just when things get good for Michigan — three straight wins! — they have to go and find out that one of their freshman was ineligible for Big Ten play. The reserve safety played in the Penn State game and made all of one assisted tackle, but that might be enough to cause a forfeit of UM’s 14-9 win over Penn State. (Chambers also played in the first three games, but they were not Big Ten games and therefore didn’t fall under the same set of rules.)

Nightmare season, indeed.

9. SP Tom Glavine — In all fairness? that fielder’s choice he induced Dan Uggla into was masterful.

Beyond that, the 300-game winner let the other eight Florida Marlins batters he faced reach base Sunday. And contrary to popular opinion, it is difficult to come back from a 7-0 deficit in baseball, even though some teams in the NFL accomplished that very feat on the same day. But the New York Mets are not a football team, and if they were, and they had a 7-game lead with 17 games to play, then they somehow cheated, because there are only 16 weeks in a season. Did I just blow your mind?

Manager: Willie Randolph — Because we’re just as bad as the New York media, we’ll ask the question too: Should the Mets’ manager be fired for blowing a seven-game divisional lead with 17 games left in the season? It seems the consensus is that firing isn’t the way to go, but he’s certainly at fault.

Personally I could go either way. On one hand, his ERA was 0.00 down the stretch, but his batting average was also 0.00 with runners in scoring position.


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Ajax Booed By Own Supporters

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Manfred

In a crowded Amsterdam Arena Ajax drew 2-2 FC Groningen yesterday. It was going to be quite loaded given that Ajax bought Luis Suarez from FC Groningen this summer in a controversial transfer. However, this alone wasn’t the reason why this match was going to be fully charged. First among them is that Ajax still hadn’t washed away their Champions League defeat earlier this week versus Slavia Prague. The fallout was bound to have negative psychological implications as the slow pace of Ajax players reveal a certain lack of confidence on the pitch. Next, the supporters of Ajax are not too happy with the direction of their favorite club.

This manifested itself a great big moan by supporters who lashed out by booing its own players. The whistling and booing in fact started when the Ajax-line-up was being announced by the announcer. The whole afternoon the ambiance in the stadium was extremely tense and uncomfortable.

Jurgen Colin (who is in his 1st season with Ajax – and probably his last unless he redeems himself to the supporters) in particular was singled out. He wasn’t alone. Ajax coach Henk Ten Cate and the Board of Directors (which includes Chairman John Jaakke) along with Director Maarten Fontein had much to endure from the crowd. The hardcore supporters F-Side sarcastically created a large banner with ‘Henk thanks for the wonderful 2 years.’ They made their feelings known as they were already showing that they want him out. Another banner said: “If we get free tickets for all the weak matches then we will be here until 2014″ which was a jab at the announcement that Ajax supporters will have free entrance in the first match of the UEFA Cup played in the Amsterdam Arena.

In his column in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf, Ajax legend Johan Cruyff added to the discussion that Ajax took an international quantum leap back instead of forward following the Champions League debacle.

Now are the supporters right? Yes they are.

John Jaakke hasn’t brought in many prizes but did fire many quality coaches. Coaches who, if they were given proper time and adequate resources, could easily build a league title winning team. At this point, the Champions League should just be a secondary objective. Besides, you don’t get in there without winning a league title anyway – unless you are privileged to play the preliminary rounds. John Jaakke should indeed step aside and let someone else take over – Someone who can inject fresh ideas and visions to make Ajax at least competitive in both the Dutch league and international tournaments.

Henk Ten Cate, who did a tremendous job as an assistant manager at FC Barcelona, hasn’t bought quality players this summer. He bought oldie Urzaiz, a 35 year old that was brought in as a pinch hitter off the bench. He also bought Dennis Rommedahl, an ex-player from PSV who never became a key player. He purchased Jurgen Colin, who I can see leaving by the end of the campaign. Or perhaps he will be loaned to another club this winter. Never has a player become so unpopular with the crowd in such a short time.

In short Ajax needs heavy restructuring beginning at the top. And if properly executed, Ajax can get back some of the glory it once proudly possessed.


Filed Under: Soccer Tagged With: ,

The tale of two draws

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By Manfred

Life of a football fan can be hard, I know. Especially if you support teams that are used to winning. So with neither Tottenham and PSV managing to win their matches, I can’t say that last weekend left me too thrilled.

The draw of PSV was a fairly dull one, Twente and PSV were equally matched and there didn’t really seem to be a chance of sneaking it. 2 points lost or a point gained? Hard to say, but I do feel that more could have been achieved in Koeman would have had the guts to put on an extra striker, instead of a straight swap with Koevermans for Lazovic.

Koeman’s explanation was that he didn’t want to risk too much. But as I always say: nothing ventured nothing gained…..or: no guts no glory, any of these would apply. Indeed any point lost can be valuable…..but points won can be even more valuable, I’m sure many Dutch fans remember how last season ended.

Not that the one point left me too dissapointed, Twente is a strong team after all. And since Ajax failed to beat Groningen at home (2-2) and AZ already dropped points last week (Vitesse, 1-0 loss), there is hardly any harm done.

All the more frustrating was Tottenham’s draw. Just like last week against Man U, they looked brilliant at times, ripping Fulham to shreds time after time. Incredible displays from Berbatov, Keane and Bale ensured a 3-1 lead 60 minutes into the match. The match seemed to be done, finished, over, kaputt.

Unfortunately, then comes the downside (or upside, if your heart is Fulham-coloured) of the beautifull game, when a cruel deflection from a shot by Smertin found it’s way over Paul Robinson and later on a desperate overhead kick by Kamara found the net to even the score at 3-3. Another cruel blow for a Spurs side that very much needs the points right now.

Still, yours truly is not despairing, since Tottenham is still missing their 2 most important defenders in Ledley King and Michael Dawson and have been playing some blistering football in the last 2 matches. And on the Martin Jol-issue……people who think he should be fired cannot be taken seriously and should consider that in football not everything can always be planned, because it’s still a funny old game.


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French Converts to Islam

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By David Keyes

A relatively small, but growing trend in Europe involves Christian converting to Islam. Despite the heated “clash of civilizations” rhetoric that 9/11 has provoked, many people are stepping across the Christian-Muslim divide. Peter Ford wrote in the Christian Science Monitor that “[a]lthough there are no precise figures, observers who monitor Europe’s Muslim population estimate that several thousand men and women convert each year.”

In recent years, several I the ranks of these converts to Islam have come from the world of soccer. Most have come from France, the country with the largest Muslim population in Europe.

The two most well-known French converts to Islam are Bolton’s Nicolas Anelka and Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery. In 2004, Anelka spoke of his growing interest in Islam.

The Muslim religion interests me. When I’m in Trappes (the neighborhood where he grew up), I hang out with Muslims and we discuss it a lot. In the summer we’re outdoors until 4am, so we have the time to talk. I listen to them in order to understand and learn, just like Roberto Baggio on Buddhism. It opens your mind and the subject fascinates me, just like astronomy does.

Anelka did eventually convert, taking the name Abdul-Salam Bilal (though he is rarely referred to as such).

Anelka’s teammate on the national team Franck Ribery has made headlines this year due to his stellar play with new club Bayern Munich. The French winger, whose former clubs include Galatasaray and Olympique Marseille, is as gifted as he is shy. Though he rarely talks to the media, he did say in 2006 of his conversion, “[a]s a kid, I spent all my time with Muslims. It is my choice. No one told me to do it. I prefer to keep my reasons to myself.”It is known that Ribery’s wife, who is French of Moroccan descent, played a role in his conversion to Islam. Since converting, Ribery has often displayed his piety on the field, as John Lichfield wrote in the Independent in 2006: “He raises his hands to Allah before every match: something that goes down fine in Istanbul or Marseilles but was less appreciated during his brief periods in Metz and Brest.”

Anelka and Ribery are not alone. Graham Spiers wrote in The (Glasgow) Herald in 2005 that “Ribery joined a trend in young French society by converting to Islam. Jacques Faty and Julien Faubert, two other prominent young French footballers, have done the same.

Two French coaches have also become Muslims. Perhaps not surprisingly, they are men who have spent much of their careers traveling the world to ply their trade, including in mainly Muslim countries. Fabio-look alike Bruno Metsu rose to fame by leading Senegal to success at the 2002 World Cup. During his time coaching in West Africa, “Metsu had to convert to Islam to marry Rokhaya ‘Daba’ Ndiaye, and a fair part of the Senegalese press now calls him Abdul Karim.”

Philippe Troussier is known by his nickname “The White Witch Doctor” due to his success managing several teams in Africa. After a stint coaching Japan at the 2002 World Cup, Troussier returned to Africa as manager of Morocco. He was fired from this job after only two months, but decided to remain in the country with his wife. In 2006, both Troussier and his wife converted to Islam, taking the new names Omar and Amina (hers had been Dominique). The currently unemployed manager recently spoke to a TV station about his conversion (they term it a reversion), but your French will have to be better than mine if you want to understand exactly what he had to say.


Filed Under: Soccer Tagged With: ,

The Best Boxing Video Games Ever!

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By JA Dawson

Do the names Glass Joe, Kid Quick and Mr. Sandman mean anything to you? If they do, you are probably a GenXer, a boxing fan, and a former or present video game addict. I am proud to say that I fit all of the criteria. If you can not relate, you will read my words, gain some further insight into the mind of a “child of the 80s,” and may even want to buy or rent a video game. If you can relate, you will read this and hopefully join the debate.

Dust off your old PlayStation, plug in your new PS3, read my rankings, and you decide if you agree with them or not.

The Top Five Boxing Video Games of All-Time:

5. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! – In 1987, the star power of Mike Tyson and the brand name of Nintendo Entertainment’s Punch Out joined to form one of the more popular video games in recent memory. It was a match made in heaven, but any fight that involved Mr. Sandman was not too shabby either.

4. Fight Night (2004) – This game is the natural evolution of Knockout Kings, making it the natural leader in the boxing video game space. Its graphics and fighter directory are unmatched (for now).

3. Boxing (Atari 2600) – Cheesy? Yes. Primitive. Sure. Classic. Most definitely. Although not the first of its kind, this early entrant into the boxing gaming world was the first credible boxing game. For me, this is where it all started.

2. Knockout Kings – At the time of the first release of this series, it was perhaps the most comprehensive, visually-appealing boxing video game ever created. Not only were the graphics great, but it was the first game to include a “who’s who” of the sport’s greatest fighters in the game. Who would win in a mythical matchup between Sugar Ray Robinson and Marvelous Marvin Hagler? Here, you could find out.

1. Punch-Out!! – This game got its start in the arcade before it made its way into the friendly confines of gamers’ homes. It spawned as many sequels as Star Wars, and was the first boxing video game that had true cross-over appeal. The phrase “body blow, body blow” still resonates to this day.

Looking for more boxing opinions, predictions and tickets? Visit www.FightInsight.com.


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Sultan Ibragimov to End Holyfield’s Dream; Juan Diaz to Beat Julio Diaz

October 23, 2007 By Leave a Comment

By JA Dawson

Tonight four-time heavyweight champion, Evander “real Deal” Holyfield (42-8-2, 27 KOs) goes for a portion of his fifth heavyweight title, when he faces Sultan Ibragimov (21-0-1, 17 KOs) in a scheduled 12-rounder at Moscow’s Khodynka Ice Palace. It will be an uphill battle for the Real Deal when he meets Ibragimov who has the advantages in age, hand speed, and fight location. Holyfield does have the advantage in big fight experience, but he’ll need much more than that to beat a hungry, young opponent who will be fighting with a decided “home ring advantage.” This factor, more than any, will have the greatest impact on the outcome of this fight. Why? I believe that this fight will go the distance due to Ibragimov’s limited punching power and Holyfield’s still formidable chin and will. In a fight which will see Holyfield pressing the action but throwing a limited number of punches, expect Ibragimov to play counter puncher, using his hand speed and timely clinches to keep Holyfield at bay.

This will play out as a more competitive fight than many would have expected, but I don’t see a way that Holyfield could win a close decision “on the road,” so to speak. Barring an early Holyfield knockout, look for Ibragimov to outwork and out-slick the Real Deal over twelve moderately competitive rounds.

The battle for lightweight supremacy comes to a head tonight, and it starts with Diaz and will end with Diaz. Brothers in name only, Juan “Baby Bull” Diaz (32-0, 16 KOs) will meet Julio “The Kid” Diaz (34-3, 25 KOs) at the Sears Centre Arena in Hoffman Estates, Illinois in a matchup that has die-hard fans like me salivating. Look for the baby “bull market run” to continue in this one, as the undefeated Juan Diaz simply does not know how to lose. Julio Diaz does, three times prior to be exact, so look for him to suffer his fourth defeat.

Looking for boxing opinions, predictions and tickets? Visit www.FightInsight.com.


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