By RJ Elliott

Here are my picks for the NFL’s Week 3:

*Sunday September 21, 2008*

1:00 p.m. ET – Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) @ Atlanta Falcons (1-1) (Line: Atlanta by 5.5)

Atlanta lost to Tampa Bay last week. Rookie QB Matt Ryan was awful, completing just 13 of 33 passes, throwing two interceptions, getting sacked four times, and fumbling once. RB Michael Turner was held to just 42 yards on 14 carries after rushing for over 200 yards against the Lions in Week One. Kansas City lost to Oakland last Sunday. The Chiefs quarterback situation is getting pretty ugly, very fast. Brodie Croyle was injured in Week One, and Damon Huard was injured in Week Two. Tyler Thigpen ended up playing most of the game against the Raiders, and his performance was atrocious – 14 for 33 passing, with 1 TD, 1 INT, and 1 fumble. At this point, Marques Hagans is probably their most promising quarterback, and he’s actually a wide receiver. I expect a lot of turnovers and general incompetence on offense for both teams, and therefore probably a low-scoring affair.

RJ’s Pick: Atlanta by 2

1:00 p.m. ET – Oakland Raiders (1-1) @ Buffalo Bills (2-0) (Line: Buffalo by 9)

Oakland beat KC last week, 23-8. QB JaMarcus Russell was a non-factor, completing just six passes for 55 yards. The star of the game was 21-year old rookie RB Darren McFadden, who rushed for 164 yards and a score on 21 attempts. He did fumble twice, however. The Bills beat the Jaguars last week, in Jacksonville. QB Trent Edwards was excellent, completing 20-of-25 passes for 239 yards and a TD. If the Bills defense can contain Oakland’s running game, this one won’t be close.

RJ’s Pick: Buffalo by 14

1:00 p.m. ET – Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) @ Chicago Bears (1-1) (Line: Chicago by 3)

Tampa Bay defeated Atlanta last week, 24-9. RB Earnest Graham ran for 116 yards and a touchdown. DE Gaines Adams recorded six tackles and two sacks in the win. The Bears lost to Carolina last Sunday. Chicago’s only offensive TD of the game came on a 1-yard run by FB Jason McKie. This should be a close game, with both teams focusing on the ground attack.

RJ’s Pick: Tampa Bay by 1

1:00 p.m. ET – Carolina Panthers (2-0) @ Minnesota Vikings (0-2) (Line: Minnesota by 3)

Carolina beat the Bears last week, 20-17. RB Jonathan Stewart rushed for 77 yards and two touchdowns on just 14 carries. The Vikings choked at home last Sunday, losing to the Colts 18-15. RB Adrian Peterson gained 160 yards on 29 carries, but couldn’t find the end zone. So far this season, the Panthers have won two close games, and the Vikings have lost two close games. I believe that trend will continue in Week Three.

1:00 p.m. ET – Miami Dolphins (0-2) @ New England Patriots (2-0) (Line: New England by 13)

Miami got spanked by Arizona last week, 31-10. QB Chad Pennington was unimpressive, and so was replaced in the 4th quarter by rookie Chad Henne, who was equally unimpressive. Do I sense the beginnings of a quarterback controversy? (What is it with South Florida and controversies about “Chads” in election years?) The Patriots beat the Jets in Week Two. QB Matt Cassel was competent enough, and didn’t make any big mistakes. Still, he’s no Tom Brady. But playing against the Dolphins, I predict something approaching a slaughter.

RJ’s Pick: New England by 21

1:00 p.m. ET – Cincinnati Bengals (0-2) @ New York Giants (2-0) (Line: New York Giants by 13)

Cincinnati lost at home to the Titans last week. QB Carson Palmer threw for only 134 yards, and was picked off twice. If this kind of play from Palmer continues, Bengals fans might be staring at “Cero Y Dieciséis” in December. The New York Giants abused the Rams last Sunday, 41-13. QB Eli Manning was 20-for-29 passing for 260 yards, 3 TDs, and no INTs. DE Justin Tuck had three tackles, two sacks, and one interception, which he returned 41 yards for a touchdown. This matchup has blowout written all over it.

RJ’s Pick: New York Giants by 25

1:00 p.m. ET – Houston Texans (0-1) @ Tennessee Titans (2-0) (Line: Tennessee by 5.5)

The Texans didn’t play last week because an enormous tropical cyclone pretty much destroyed their stadium. (You’d think that would almost count as a loss; Final Score: Ike 110 mph winds, Houston 0 functioning professional football venues.) The Titans (who, you’ll remember, used to play in Houston as the Oilers about twelve years ago) beat the Bengals last Sunday, 24-7. Rookie RB Chris Johnson rushed for 109 yards on 19 attempts. QB Kerry Collins, starting for an injured and emotionally-unbalanced Vince Young, completed 14-of-21 passes for 128 yards and a TD. Tennessee should win, unless of course Sage “The Jewish Iowan” Rosenfels starts under center for the Texans.

RJ’s Pick: Tennessee by 9

1:00 p.m. ET – Arizona Cardinals (2-0) @ Washington Redskins (1-1) (Line: Washington by 3)

Arizona defeated Miami last week. QB Kurt Warner was outstanding, completing 19 passes on 24 attempts for 361 yards, three TDs, and no INTs. WR Larry Fitzgerald caught six passes for 153 yards. WR Anquan Boldin also made six receptions, for a total of 140 yards and three touchdowns. (Wow.) The Redskins beat the Saints in Week Two. QB Jason Campbell threw for over 300 yards with no interceptions, RB Clinton Portis got into the end zone twice, and WR Santana Moss made 7 catches for 164 yards and a TD. Oh, and rookie safety Chris Horton picked off Drew Brees two times. This should be a competitive matchup. I’m gonna go with the road ‘dog here.

RJ’s Pick: Arizona by 2

4:05 p.m. ET – New Orleans Saints (1-1) @ Denver Broncos (2-0) (Line: Denver by 5)

New Orleans lost to Washington last week, 29-24. The Saints turned the ball over three times, and could only manage 55 yards on the ground on 19 rushing attempts. On a positive note, LB Jonathan Vilma was a maniac on the defensive end, with 16 tackles. The Broncos managed to steal a win against San Diego last week, 39-38. (Denver has scored 80 points through their first two games.) WR Brandon Marshall was incredible, with 18 catches for 166 yards and a touchdown. This promises to be a fun game to watch. I predict about 400 passing yards for each team, and a combined 60 points.

RJ’s Pick: Denver by 8

4:05 p.m. ET – Detroit Lions (0-2) @ San Francisco 49ers (1-1) (Line: San Francisco by 4.5)

Detroit was humiliated in their home opener last week, 48-25, by division rival Green Bay. (The Lions have given up 82 points through their first two games.) QB Jon Kitna had an absolute meltdown in the 4th quarter, throwing three interceptions in a span of six pass attempts, two of which were returned all the way to the end zone. On a bright note, WR Calvin Johnson caught six passes for 129 yards and 2 TDs. The 49ers beat division rival Seattle in overtime last Sunday, 33-30. WR Isaac “The” Bruce caught four passes for 153 yards. The Lions are a horrible road team, but I will continue to pick them each week until they are officially eliminated from playoff contention (usually around Week Five).

RJ’s Pick: Detroit by 1

RJ’s Lame-Game Of The Week: 4:05 p.m. ET – Saint Louis Rams (0-2) @ Seattle Seahawks (0-2) (Line: Seattle by 9.5)

The Rams lost to the New York Giants last week, at home, and in embarrassing fashion. WR Torry Holt had a nice game, though, catching six passes for 76 yards and a score. The Seahawks also lost at home last week (“oy…”), in overtime (“ouch!”), to the 49ers (*puts gun in mouth*). The defense recorded eight sacks, and RB Julius Jones gained 127 yards on the ground, along with a score. So why did they lose? Because QB Matt Hasselbeck was horrid, completing only 50% of his passes and throwing two picks (and no touchdowns). But I believe Hasselbeck and Seattle will rebound this week with a win.

RJ’s Pick: Seattle by 6

4:15 p.m. ET – Cleveland Browns (0-2) @ Baltimore Ravens (1-0) (Line: Baltimore by 1.5)

Cleveland lost last week to Pittsburgh, 10-6. QB Derek Anderson didn’t look so good, completing just 18 of 32 passes for 166 yards, and getting picked off twice. RB Jamal Lewis could only manage two yards per carry. The defense looked fairly solid, however. Baltimore had an unexpected bye last week. RB Willis McGahee is expected to make his season debut this week; he missed all of the preseason and Week One as he recuperated from knee surgery. Ah, the memories:

RJ’s Pick: Cleveland by 4

4:15 p.m. ET – Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2) @ Indianapolis Colts (1-1) (Line: Indianapolis by 6)

Jacksonville lost at home to Buffalo last Sunday, 20-16. QB David Garrard was just 17-of-28 passing for 165 yards, no TDs, and 1 INT. RB Fred Taylor had just 49 yards rushing on 14 attempts. Something stinks at the mouth of the Saint Johns River, and I’m not just talking about the red tide. This isn’t the Jaguars team I remember from last season. The Colts narrowly avoided starting the year 0-2 thanks to a come-from-behind win against the Vikings in Minnesota last week. Indy could manage just 25 yards on the ground all game, so QB Peyton Manning had to win it with his arm. Manning completed 26 of his 42 pass attempts for 311 yards and a touchdown, although he also threw two picks. WR Anthony Gonzalez caught nine passes for 137 yards. This should be a competitive game between division rivals.

RJ’s Pick: Indianapolis by 3

4:15 p.m. ET – Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0) @ Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) (Line: N/A at time of publication)

The Steelers won at Cleveland on Sunday Night Football last week. Both QB Ben Roethlisberger and RB Willie Parker put in workmanlike performances. DE Aaron Smith made four tackles and had two sacks. The Eagles lost a shootout to Dallas on Monday Night Football, 41-37. QB Donovan McNabb was stellar in a losing effort, completing 25-of-37 passes for 281 yards, 1 TD, and no INTs. He did get sacked four times, though. RB Brian Westbrook rushed for two TDs and caught another one. Also worth mentioning is rookie WR DeSean Jackson, who caught six passes for 110 yards. This should be an excellent game. I’m gonna go with the home team.

RJ’s Pick: Philadelphia by 6

RJ’s Game Of The Week: 8:15 p.m. ET – Dallas Cowboys (2-0) @ Green Bay Packers (2-0) (Line: N/A at time of publication)

The Cowboys beat Philly on MNF. QB Tony “Jessica Simpson” Romo was 21-for-30 passing for 312 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT. (Romo has not been sacked yet this season … but I bet Jessica has!) WR Terrell Owens caught just three passes, but two were for TDs. TE Jason Witten caught seven balls for 110 yards. LB Greg Ellis had four tackles and two sacks. And owner Jerry Jones had two Thai hookers killed for sport. (Okay, I made that last one up. Probably.) The Packers dismantled the Lions last week. I mean, they simply eviscerated them. QB Aaron Rodgers owes me an apology for making me sit through that. WR Greg Jennings, too. And LB A. J. Hawk. And cornerback Charles Woodson. And the entire Green Bay coaching staff. It was so bad, I’m not even going to post any of their stats. (Fucking cheesehead bastards.) Er, anyway…this should be a really good game, between two quality organizations. May the best team win! (Or die in a fiery plane crash. Whichever.)

RJ’s Pick: Dallas by 7

*Monday September 22, 2008*

8:30 p.m. ET – New York Jets (1-1) @ San Diego Chargers (0-2) (Line: San Diego by 8.5)

The Jets lost to New England last week, 19-10. QB Brett Favre had a good game, except for a single interception. RB Thomas Jones rushed for 70 yards on 17 carries, and caught a couple of passes as well. The Chargers lost in the final seconds for the second consecutive week, falling to Denver by a single point in a very high-scoring game. And if it wasn’t for bad officiating, they would have won. QB Philip Rivers threw for almost 400 yards and three TDs. WR Chris Chambers caught four passes for 83 yards and 2 TDs. RB LaDainian Tomlinson didn’t have such a good game, though, gaining just 26 yards on the ground on 10 carries. I predict a close game.

RJ’s Pick: San Diego by 4